Tag Archives: Garden

My Father’s House

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They say that home is where the heart is. I have no doubt that this is true. In which case my home was imprinted in my heart before I was even born. It is my father’s home, my grandmother’s home, my great grandfather’s home and for a short while, my grandfather’s. Despite efforts to deny it many times, this is also my home. Some things we decide in life. Other things are decided for us. This home belongs to the former category. My heart home never stops calling me to return home. It’s voice is relentless. Sometimes louder, sometimes a silent echo, but always there.

Physical places, you see, are not just physical places. They may appear derelict and abandoned to the human eye, but they are always inhabited. My home is a glorious ruin with a soul that cries out and a garden that needs tending. Soul tending sometimes feels like an overwhelming and fearsome responsibility. Until I close my eyes and listen to my beating heart. I imagine myself sitting in the grand salon at the piano with Frederic Chopin playing. Once again I am restored. I have returned home.

In Joyful Sorrow

 

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Reflecting on my journey this Passion week, I am in utter awe of the sheer beauty and majesty of this world.  So many heart stopping moments.  The joy of friendship and family; the joy of community, participation, burgeoning new friendships, visions, nestling in and birthing from the bosom of the familiar; the vision of the red hot sun and the red hot moon on Tuesday ;  Allegri’s Miserere at St Sepulchres on Maundy Thursday, where amidst the hustle and bustle, comings and goings, fortunes made and fortunes lost in this great city of London, all stood absolutely still in the silent presence of continuum.   This is love.   This is Passion.  This is our Lenten journey.  This is our Cross and our Joy.  Creation and re-creation.  Heart stopping moments of bliss, of sorrow and everything in between.     Hearts are made to be broken; pierced; time and time, so we dive ever deeper through our individual and our collective wound.  So that we can love ever more fiercely and faithfully, ever more lovingly, willingly and joyfully through our sorrow.   When our hearts are pierced the waters of life and the rivers of blood meet and flow into the divine ocean of love.    This is our one and only purpose.    To surrender.  To ask for forgiveness and remain centred in the presence of our own embryonic love, trusting, knowing that we are safe and deeply loved, no matter what chaos, turmoil or stormy seas abide.  To know that no matter how far we run or hide, love finds us and is with us, always in all ways.   With deepest gratitude on this Good Friday for everything that was, everything that is and everything that is to come.   In peace, in joy, in sorrow and always in love